BLOG 154—How are you? (the wrong question)

With my words, I hope to throw some oblique light upon your life.
I want to inspire you to see life in a different and/or better way.

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*** Going where I want, when I want, and seeing wonderful places and people.
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Thank you, I heard from a few of you that really like my blog posts. That is enough to keep me going; I had needed to hear from you. And, how about you, have you written to me yet?

I did hear from some people who were flabbergasted from the last blog that I wrote about pooping in the woods and how to save water when you take a shower. I do not hold back, I write about real life and how things are. I want to help you to have a better future and help you through whatever changes you may be going through.

At times, the hardest thing in life is letting go of what might be holding you back. It might be a painful situation you have to overcome, the loss of someone you love, the consequences of a bad choice, an unrewarding job, or even just a negative mindset you can’t release.

We can get stuck in a holding pattern where we focus on the things that we struggle with, then wind up in a cycle of sorrow, stress, and/or frustration.

But, there’s good news—once you let go of whatever hurt, anger, or regret you are holding on to, you’re able to move forward freely. You have the ability to start out new and fresh, on a new path, unencumbered by the weight of the issues you’ve left behind. If you’re standing on the precipice of that new mindset.

I do hope you like reading my words,
please let me know how they might help you.

Inspirational quotes and motivational sayings have an amazing ability to change the way we feel about life and can change our thinking.

This is why I find them so interesting, challenging, and important on our path to joy and happiness and finding ways to inspire ourselves as well as others.

Inspirational quotes and ideas provide us with a quick and timely burst of wisdom to get our focus back, offering the inspiration needed for the day or occasion.

I hope to inspire you with my words.
Words have power.
At any age, you can (and should)
make changes to make your life better.

You see, the way you think and feel about yourself, including your beliefs and expectations about what is possible for you, determines everything that happens in your life. It all derives from your quality of thinking.

When you improve the quality of your thinking,
you change the quality of your life—sometimes instantly!

Just as positive words can make someone smile, and/or, a well-timed amusing quote can make someone laugh, your own thoughts react to the world in real-time. You have this control!

In fact, you have complete control over only one thing in the universe — your thinking — and that’s where motivational quotes come in!

To keep your motivation, you have to use each day as an opportunity for improvement, to be better, to get a little bit closer to your goals. It might sound like a lot of work—and with your busy schedule—next to impossible. But you can do it!

Self-talk is so important—THINK RIGHT!
Motivational words, yes, they’re just words.
But they’re positive words; they will keep you on track.

Remember, you are only as young as the last time you changed your mind.
Keep your thoughts and self-talk fun and productive and always reaching for advancement.

Remember, very little is needed to make a great life.
I hope these words I pick do help you.

Forgiveness is a reflection of loving yourself enough to move on.
– Steve Maraboli

You only struggle because you’re ready to grow but aren’t willing to let go.

Drew Gerald

Forgiveness is just another name for freedom.

Byron Katie

Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. The past is closed and limited; the future is open and free.

Deepak Chopra

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

Steve Maraboli

To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds.

Gerald G. Jampolsky

You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand new ending.

James R. Sherman

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

John A. Shedd

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

You have two choices: to control your mind or to let your mind control you.

Paulo Coelho

What we find in life is based on where we put our attention. When we focus on the small worlds our thoughts create, we miss out on the beauty and possibilities we are meant to enjoy.

Guy Finley



1/19—Went to the weekly meeting of the Plum Branch Community Coffee Hour. I went before, about twenty people meet up to just talk and connect. Today I did some magic for the group, it went over quite well.

Beth and I worked on the painting of the fire room. It went quick and turned out nice, see the photos.

I’ve suggested before, you can easily paint your own abode. That is one thing you can do, for low price, to make your home new and nice. If you have any questions, YouTube will teach you and set you right. Or, give me a call and I will assist how I can—610-400-3233.

1-21—Beth and I are together 24/7. Our love has grown stronger endlessly—stronger and stronger all the time. This makes me so happy, something I was looking for as I was growing older. Yes, whatever age you are, you can find love in your life and help each other to find excellence.


I’ve never used or liked the question (or comment), “How are you?” or “How ya doin?” Usually, people don’t mean it when they ask this—question—they just cannot think of something better to say. For this question, my usual answer is I simply say, “Yes I am”. After I say this the conversation goes in a better direction.

What I’ve found is if you say something “nice” about the other person—with enthusiasm—first thing, it will bring better conversation. Such as, “What a nice hairstyle you have” or “Your smile is very attractive” or “Great to see you, you look fantastic”.

My challenge for you this week is not to use this, “question”, at all. Start with this week and do not use the phase, “How are you”, again. There are so many better ways to connect with someone.

Here are some other ideas to use to start a conversation.
(Please don’t use, “How are you?”
1 – What’s been on your mind lately?

Allowing your friend to vent about whatever has been on their mind will likely lead to a deeper, more honest conversation. They’ll feel like you really care about them. By asking such a direct question, you’re letting them know that the floor is theirs and you are ready to listen to anything that’s been bothering them.

2 – How can I support you?
If your friend or relative is handling something particularly stressful, ask them how you can help. At times, it can be comforting just to know that you are there to help and ready to support them. Even if they don’t actually allow you to do anything special for them, like cooking them dinner or babysitting their new dog, it’s good to express that you are there for moral support and are willing to help if need be.

3 – Tell me about your day.

This is a great open-ended way of asking someone how they’re “doing” in a time-bound manner. By inquiring about their day, you are creating an open space for them to talk about whatever has affected their mood or feelings most recently. Plus, you might be able to find more direct ways to help and support them, knowing what’s irritating or distressing them on this particular day.

4 – What’s bringing you joy right now?

There are millions of ways to find joy even in difficult times, no matter what, but for some reason, we are always inclined to focus on the negative. By asking this question, you’ll remind your friend that there is still at least something that’s good in their life. Even if they answer with something rather small—like “I had a great cup of tea this morning” or “I finished reading a wonderful book last night”—pulling a specific example out of them will help them to see that there is joy to be found, even when struggling. A change of mind.

5 – How are you taking care of yourself nowadays?

This is a rather sweet way of sparking a conversation about your friend or family member’s self-care routine, which we all should have. What do they do to make themselves feel better on days when they feel low? Knowing what they’re currently doing to create a little positivity during tough times will give you a better sense of how you can also console or take care of them.

6 – Are you holding up alright?

If you know for a fact that your friend or partner is going through a rough time, it’s nice to ask a question that acknowledges the difficulty head-on. This is also a good way to start the conversation with an undercurrent of empathy; you’re acknowledging that they might not be doing too well right now, and you’re curious in knowing exactly how they’re getting by, so you can help somehow.

7 – I’ve been thinking about you. What’s new in your life?

Telling someone that they’ve been on your mind will instantly make empathy and connection, as they will know that you’re concerned about them. “What’s new?” is a perfect follow-up question, showing them that you’re curious to know what they’ve been doing. Again, this is a powerful open-ended path, creating a dialogue for sharing anything that’s important to them.

8 – Is there anything I can help you with?

Similar to offering your support, you can ask your friend if there is a specific task or activity that you can do to take the pressure off of them. Something as trivial as picking up their prescription drug from the pharmacy or watering their plants could be enough to ease the stress that they feel when things seem overwhelming. Even if they say no, it’s always nice to help in whatever way you can without being asked! The more help you offer the better life you lead.

9 – Are you free for a video chat while we drink coffee?

With the need for social distancing making it more challenging than usual to see friends, offering to video call is the next best thing for some “face-to-face”, catching up on things. You can eve make it feel like you two are hanging out at your favorite cafe by ensuring you both have a cup of warm coffee or tea to sip on as you chat. Having authentic one-on-one time, even if it takes place behind a computer screen, is an ideal way to reconnect and make sure your friend is doing okay.

10 – What were your highs and lows this week?

A final alternative to asking someone how they are is to open a discussion about their high times and low times of the week. This will not only allow them to vent about their main pain points, but it will also make them aware of the positive things that happened too, which will definitely help boost their mood.

Don’t waste your breath asking the question, “How are you?”, there are so many better things you can say. Use your mind to think before you talk.


Happiness will be covered to bring happiness to you.

And, you will see the finished product of my painting.



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