BLOG 291–Loneliness

“KITTING AROUND”
BLOG 291–Loneliness
Don’t sleepwalk through life.
I hope to illuminate your Life with my Words.
The Wanderings of Kit (Do you wander or wonder?)
I WANT TO INSPIRE YOU TO LIVE DIFFERENTLY OR BETTER!

*** This blog looks best when viewed on a laptop or desktop computer.
*** The joy I experience in life is a wondrous thing!
*** I was hit by two different trucks, but I remain happy.
*** Going through a 37-day coma–Yikes!
*** What do you want to accomplish before you die?
*** If you read this through Facebook, see kitsummers.com/blog
*** I lived in my van for six years, visited all US national parks, and met Beth.
*** Beth and I married on 2/22/22 at 2:22.
*** I will have places to show you and tales to tell.
*** You will find secrets to unfold and good news!
*** What are you passionate about?
*** Only YOU know what is best for you.
*** Live for now! When all your nows add up, you will have a great life!
*** You cannot change the past. The future will come. All you have is now—always.
*** Have you seen >> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFC5vLPDWRo 

BE TAKEN AWAY WITH ME
ON WONDERFUL ADVENTURES!

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Sorry, I am using a new computer and cannot bring in photos.

WHY I WRITE THIS BLOG
You will have many in your life who assist and teach; I am helping to guide you. Coaches like me wish to lighten your path toward excellence. It is up to you to make your journey toward merit. I’m not trying to show you “the way”; I am trying to help you find “your way.” Writing this blog each week is new and different for me—I love it!
     

I WANT TO INSPIRE YOU WITH MY WORDS –WORDS HAVE POWER!
Are you accomplishing what you want before your eventual death?
You can (and should) make changes to improve your life–at any age.
Start today, and you can build the life you desire.
     

YOU ALREADY KNOW
You already know much about what I write, and I want to remind you of these ideas and show that my views can provide additional thoughts, along with yours, to help you. 
     

MY EXPERIENCES
Much of what I write about is taken from my experiences.
I have gone through much.
I hope to spread ideas so that you can live a better life.
Remember, only you know what is best for you.

Don’t forget–you are only as young as the last time you changed your mind

EVEN IF YOU START LATE,
ARE UNCERTAIN OR DIFFERENT ––
YOU CAN STILL FIND SUCCESS 

VERY LITTLE IS NEEDED TO MAKE A GREAT LIFE! 

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TOPIC FOR THIS WEEK — Loneliness
   
Loneliness can affect each of us. It’s got a grip on me right now that I can’t get rid of. Beth decided to push me back to my traveling. I must say that Beth is a special lady; I miss her very much. Beth and I were married for a few years, and I thought we were in love. I never saw this separation coming; it’s awful.
   
Beth would agree—she tends to be very controlling and worries that I will find someone else online. This thought alone was difficult because I was devoted to Beth. I recently wrote to my juggling friend, Jenny, who had sent me supportive words. In my words, I told Jenny I loved her. Beth took that and ran with it. I’ve tried to contact Beth in the last few weeks, and she has not responded. It’s bizarre.
   
Loneliness is the unpleasant feeling of being alone or disconnected from others, even when surrounded by people. It can be caused by a perceived gap between the level of connection a person wants and the level they have. I performed in front of a crowd of hundreds each night; no one knew I felt very alone.
   
There I was, driving all by myself. What a dreadful night of Hurricane Helena I had after the storm. It was hard to drive because electrical lines were down, giant trees littered the road, and most streetlights and turn signal lights were not working. It’s an exciting time for all. I tried hard to find a place with Wi-Fi and electricity but could not find it, so there was no blog last week.
   
A ranger gave me a way through. I was high above a road that only one other car and I were on. I did not know if I would or could get through, so I just drove. Eventually, GPS found me, and I could go by that. I ultimately parked under a bridge, where I spent the night.
   
No one in the world knew where I was or that I was out there. Death could have come, and no one would have known or found out for a long time. Come to think of it, no one could know I am dead except you, my audience for reading my blog.
   
I heard of a lady who was talking about the overwhelming loneliness that happened when she would get home from work. She would pull into her driveway and sit there, sometimes for 15-20 minutes, because she didn’t want to go inside her home. She couldn’t stand the sound of the empty house. It was keeping her from wanting to go in. Working alone was a great distraction for her, and she thrived there. But the minute she pulled into her driveway, she said it was like her body had shut down.
   
We all have moments like this. Maybe it’s a specific time of day that you feel it the most. For example, when you’re about to sleep, loneliness kicks in. I know nighttime is the worst time of day for many alone. We dread it. We dread trying to go to sleep. It’s another pattern of our life that’s been disrupted. And nighttime is so quiet. But it’s the quiet that’s so hard to get used to.
   
Or, perhaps, it’s that few moments first thing in the morning when you wake up, when you think that life is like this every day, just another regular day. Then, five seconds later, you remember that your husband died and you’re a widow, and this is your life now. Your heart sinks, and you feel deflated, hurt, and sad. And alone.
   
I sometimes feel lonely when I am driving, like now. I like to travel in an exemplary way. It was a good distraction,  a healthy coping mechanism, and a way to see other parts of the world and even live in different parts. The energy in my body would be sucked out of me immediately through loneliness. I would suddenly be an empty person. Empty. I’m sure some of you can relate to how that feels. It makes you realize the humanity of this experience.
   
When you read the words below, I hope they strike a chord within you, help you become self-aware of your situation, and give you something to hold onto during this challenging time. Use these words and ideas to pull yourself out of the muck of loneliness.
   
BELOW ARE SOME IDEAS FOR YOU TO GET THROUGH YOUR LONELINESS >>
1–Talk to strangers.
A growing body of research suggests that even seemingly insignificant interactions with strangers — like chatting with a barista or store worker. Even small exchanges with strangers, such as a cashier at a store, can help you feel socially connected. Many people feel lonely, and the pandemic has worsened their situation. I suggest practical ways to communicate with others.
   
2–Take up a new hobby or join a group
Retirement is a great time to revisit or take up new and old hobbies. Topics include wine tasting, botany, scrabble, history, and gardening. These are usually held in somebody’s home, a local library, or a community center.
   
3–Volunteer for a good cause or group
Volunteering! If there’s a charity or organization you support, why not volunteer to help it? It can be an excellent opportunity to get out of the house, meet new people, and feel useful. Charity shops are essential to raising funds for good causes and often need an extra pair of hands.
   
4–JUGGLE!
I’ve written about the benefits in the past, you know. Juggling is very much a solo venture; you see your advancement. Juggling with friends can add a good spark to your skill.
   
5–Get into books
If you enjoy a good read, you might enjoy being part of a book club. It can be fun and mentally stimulating to discuss books with like-minded people. Set up your group and meet monthly, taking turns hosting it in your house and providing snacks. Otherwise, you can ask your local librarian or council if they know of existing book clubs.
               
6–Gardening
Mowing the lawn and tending the garden can become too strenuous, but it doesn’t mean your gardening days are over. It’s a great way to get some fresh air and gentle exercise, and it’s rewarding to grow flowers or vegetables that you can eat! Invite a neighbor or friend to help, and you can benefit from it.
     
7–Board games
Board games can be a great way to interact with others and have fun. Many classic board games we enjoyed in our youth are still popular—anyone for Scrabble, Cribbage, Monopoly, Backgammon, or a good puzzle? You can enjoy a good board game at any age.
         
8–Join a Heart Support Group
Health and Heart Support Groups are friendly local groups for people with heart conditions and their families. Activities vary between groups but typically include simple exercise classes tailored for people with heart conditions and talks about different topics.
   
9–Go to the cinema
When was the last time you saw a flick? The allure of visiting the cinema and watching a great movie never fades. Most of the big cinemas have special screenings for older people at discounted rates, and some also provide free hot drinks and biscuits so you can chat and make the occasion a little more pleasant.
 
10–Keep in contact online
If your friends or family live far away, or you can’t go out to meet them, programs such as Skype and Facebook Video can help you keep in touch. These programs allow you to video call someone for free, wherever they are (as long as you both have an internet connection), so you can see them when you talk.
   
11–Borrow a dog (Jemma?)
Little doggy, if you’re a dog lover but don’t have the space, time, or money to have your own, then ‘dog borrowing’ might be just the thing for you. Maybe a friend or neighbor has a dog and would like to take a walk and have some company during the day. Alternatively, you can sign up for a dog-borrowing scheme.
   
12–Food, friends, and fun
One of the best ways to meet new people and be sociable is over a meal. Systems across the country offer free or inexpensive lunches, coffee mornings, and meetups for older people; some also provide transport. So, if you’re feeling lonely, your GP or other healthcare providers can refer you to social groups, community events, or peer befriending projects they think you might enjoy.
         
13–You will get through!
Yes, you will get through your loneliness, as I will.
Thank you, Jasmine, April, Liisa, and Jenny, for your support. 
I am here to help you; contact me at kitsummers@gmail.co

YES, YOU STILL HAVE TIME TO FIND YOUR SUCCESS!
THIN K  — AND THEN THINK AGAIN.
WHAT NEW STORIES ARE YOU READY TO WRITE? 

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WORDS TO INSPIRE YOU!
Inspirational quotes and sayings have a unique ability to change the way we feel about life and can change our thoughts. They are attractive, challenging, and essential on our path to joy and happiness and finding ways to inspire ourselves and others.
   
THE BURST!
Inspirational quotes and ideas give us a quick and timely burst of wisdom to regain our focus, offering the inspiration needed for the day or occasion. I hope the words below bring a smile to your face and drive you to make this day and every day a fantastic event.
   
BE POSITIVE!
Just as positive words can make someone smile, and a well-timed amusing quote can make someone laugh, your thoughts react to the world in real-real time have this control! You have complete control over only one thing in the universe—YOUR THINKING!—and that’s where motivational quotes come in!
   
“YOU”
How you think and feel about yourself, including your beliefs and expectations about what is possible, determines everything in your life, and it all derives from your quality of thinking. Use quotes to move ahead in your life.
 
SELF-TALK IS SO ESSENTIAL—THINK RIGHT!
To stay motivated, you have to use each day as an opportunity to improve and get closer to your goals. It might sound like a lot of work—and with your busy schedule—next to impossible. But you can do it! Motivational words, yes, are just words. But they are positive words; they will keep you on track.
 
QUOTES WILL BENEFIT YOU!
Positive and inspiring quotes can be like sunshine on a cloudy day. They inject optimism into our thoughts, brighten our mood, and help us focus on the good in life. They remind us that even in the face of adversity, we can see the silver lining and embrace a positive attitude.
   
PEARLS OF WISDOM
In a world filled with challenges and indecisiveness, the power of inspirational quotes cannot be exaggerated. These pearls of wisdom uniquely uplift our spirits, can spark positive change, and fuel our motivation often when we need it most.
   
WORDS WILL CHANGE YOU!
The correct motivational quote can change you and things—helping you ditch the excuses, escape your comfort zone, and take action. Read these words with an open mind and learn to improve your life.
   
THESE QUOTES
When you read these quotes, you’ll also realize that many other people worldwide are experiencing these feelings. These feelings make you think you’re the only person who could feel this bad. But you’re not. Lots and lots of other people feel bad, too. This is the irony of it. You don’t want other people to feel crappy, but it does make you feel better, or at least comforted to know that other people feel just as bad as you.
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I HOPE THE FOLLOWING WORDS ADD TO YOUR LIFE >>
     
“In the middle of winter, I at last discovered that there was in me an invincible summer.” -Albert Camus
 
“There is Hope,
even when your brain
tells you there isn’t.” -John Green
   
“If you smile when you are alone,
then you really mean it.” -Andy Rooney
   
“Loneliness is the human condition.
Cultivate it.
The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow.” -Janet Fitch
   
“We can all fight against loneliness by engaging in random acts of kindness.” -Gail Honeyman
   
“We live in an agitated society.
We are pulled apart…
and must learn how to pull ourselves together.
I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude.” -Helen Hayes
   
“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” -Michel de Montaigne
   
“Find company within yourself, and you’ll never spend a day alone.
Find love within yourself, and you’ll never have a lonely day.” -Connor Chalfant
   
“Cultivate solitude and quiet and a few sincere friends, rather than mob merriment, noise, and thousands of nodding acquaintances.” -William Powell
   
“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone.
You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” -Oscar Wilde
   
“Be alone; that is the secret of invention;
Be alone—that is when ideas are born.” -Nikola Tesla
   
“Music was my refuge.
I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” -Maya Angelou
   
“If you are never alone,
you cannot know yourself.”
-Paulo Coelho de Souza
   
“I used to think the worst thing in life was ending up alone.
It’s not.
The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” -Robin Williams
   
“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly.
Spending quiet time alone allows your mind to renew itself and create order.” -Susan L. Taylor
   
“I have to be alone very often.
I’d be quite happy if I spent from
Saturday night until Monday morning
alone in my apartment.
That’s how I refuel.” -Audrey Hepburn
   
“There is nothing outside of yourself.
Look within.
Everything you want is there.
You are that.” -Rumi
   
“What a lovely surprise to discover how un-lonely being alone can be.” -Ellen Burstyn
     
“If you go deeper and deeper into your own heart,
you’ll be living in a world with less fear,
isolation, and loneliness.” -Sharon Salzberg
   
“Negative emotions like loneliness,
envy, and guilt have an essential role to play in a happy life;
they’re big flashing signs that something needs to change.” -Gretchen Rubin
   
“At the innermost core of loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self.” – Brendan Behan
     
“Loneliness is the poverty of self.
Solitude is the richness of self.” -May Sarton
   
“Sometimes you have to stand alone just to make sure you still can.” -Anonymous
   
“A season of loneliness and isolation is when the caterpillar gets its wings.
Remember that next time you feel alone.” – Mandy Hale
   
“Find company within yourself,
and you’ll never spend a day alone.
Find love within yourself,
and you’ll never have a lonely day.” – Connor Chalfant
   
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with.” – Wayne Dyer 

YOU MUST IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR THINKING,
YOU CHANGE YOUR LIFE’S DIFFERENTIA—SOMETIMES INSTANTLY!
COMPOSE A NOBLE BOOK AND WRITE A BEST-SELLER.
YOU ARE AMAZING—PLAY YOUR PART!
YOU CAN TURN THINGS AROUND FAST AND ACHIEVE YOUR
WILDEST DREAMS NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE! 

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MY DAILY JOTTINGS >>
Each week goes by so quickly, don’t you think?
It seems like time is going by faster and faster.
You must live joyfully, daily, for each day!
   
Do you know what you did last Monday?
Do you remember what you ate for dinner last Thursday?
Keep track of your doings for a few weeks; you will see your time differently.
Remember, the quality of your life depends on what you do each day.
   
9/22–Well, she did it. 

I’ve been put back on the road.
Life is different.
Life has changed.
   
Yes, Beth told me to hit the road.
Being away from Beth is still so foreign to me.
Any change in the relationship can affect both people dramatically.
   
Of course, I was shocked at the news.
I know Beth has had some trouble with me. 
But any relationship can have trouble, and most do.
I thought we were together for the rest of our lives.
   
Why didn’t Beth say something about not wanting to be married when we were first together? She said it wasn’t about me but the idea of being married (I just happen to fit the part?) Why could she not have said something about this before we were wedded in Bliss?
     
Yes, I can be hard to be with—just ask Mary Ellen or Tina. Yet, I believe I have more positive traits than downbeat endings. What I try and do will only make life fun for the other person—at least—that’s what I try to do.
     
I went to a Walmart today; this Walmart only sold food. What amazed me was that it was set up precisely like Costco. They must have studied the layout; it looked just the same.
Talk about something ideal – – I can’t believe it.
   
It is just getting to 5:00 p.m. and finally getting more relaxed. Today was quite a hot one.
   
I find myself very sad currently. I am still determining what my future holds, but of course, no one knows what their future holds. I hoped this man would be with Beth again, but that won’t happen, as she doesn’t want us to rejoin. I’ve left messages for her; she will not get ahold of me or write to me. I still have hopes and dreams that remain unfulfilled. I hope I will soon take off to unknown parts and be recognized. Late for me is good, even though I had a massive negative change.
   
It’s 3:00 in the afternoon. I just ate a can of beans, white beans, and a spice sauce; they tasted great. I got this can of beans at the Amish market I was at. It cost about 30 cents. Eating well for a low price is good; I like it.
         

9/23–Awake most of the night.
My brain just does not want to sleep.
Has this ever happened to you?
How can you force sleep? Any ideas?
 
9/24–I found out today from Jimmy (https://www.jiminy-fixit.com/) that I need a new alternator. I will return it to Jimmy tomorrow and have him install the new one. He said everything else in the van looked superb, which was great.
   
9/25–The new alternator has been installed, and the van is excellent now. Next, I went to Tires Plus. Some years ago, I bought a lifetime alignment here and had them check now and then; the alignment was accurate. They also have something where you pay $23, and they go over your whole vehicle to see what might be wrong. They found that I needed new brakes. So, I do a lot of coasting now and do not use the brake as much.
   
9/26–I am currently at Discount Tire, a company I’ve purchased from before. It is a rainy day, and I am glad to be inside while they put on my new tires.
 
After they were done, they told me that a lugnut post had broken off. So, after I was done at Discount Tire, I returned to Tires Plus to get the lug nut post. They ordered it, and it will be delivered; it might take a while
   
I ended up having to wait at least 3 hours! Nevertheless, I could access the Internet and write some blog posts. I also watched YouTube videos and read articles.
   
9/27—Last night, the hurricane came through. This morning, the roads are horrendous—trees toppled everywhere, wires down on the road—it’s a scary mess out there.
   
Awakening at 3am and knowing you must just lay there for four hours until the world awakens.
   
Hurricane Helene was gargantuan. I was in North Carolina. The devastation caused has erased nearly every trace of the community near Chimney Rock State Park. Roads are obliterated, and persistent power outages contribute to the area’s woes, highlighting the storm’s ferocity. A town is now gone.
   
The freeway is at a total standstill. I’ve had there must be Big trees blocking the road. Most cars have their engines on, of course; mine is off. I will sit here and wait for how long it takes. It should be cleared out sometime today, oh boy.
   
I talked with an officer who said they would allow this local to use the damaged road. I spoke with him, and he let me take the road. I drove far and eventually parked under the bridge for my sleepy time. I bedded out and slept well; it was hushed.
   
9/29/2024–At a McDonalds, typing my blog, as you see.
   
I contacted my old juggling friend, Tommy Curtin, about a visit today. His wife said they had too much going on medically and with family, to see me. We always have to remember that we are ALL getting older and will die one day.
   
I went off to Colorada by myself.
   
Here is a video of Tommy performing at the 1981 IJA Convention >>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVIdpkf2jq8
   
9/30–I drove in the rain, a scary drive. I ended up at Gordonsville Library, the only one here. It’s good to be out of the constant rain, and I can work on this for you.
   
I still only eat once a day. When I was at the library, I saw a Costco just 30 miles down the road so that I would eat that one meal for free. Gas is always the cheapest at Costco, too, so I will fill it up.
   
10/1—This morning, I woke up at about 1:00 a.m.
How can I get to sleep?
I’m up for the night.
   
Of course, Beth is firmly on my mind. While I married her for two years, she seemed normal, but she turned out to be a mighty scary person. Over the last couple of days, I’ve tried to contact her by email but am still waiting to receive a response. Now, she just scares me, but life will go on.
   
I don’t know if I should plan to return to her or not.
I am feeling very alone in the world right now.
I’m glad you are there.
Please help me decide.
   
I will try to sleep now, but I’m up for the day.
It’s 1:00 a.m., and all is not well.
Surprisingly, I got back to sleep until about 4 a.m.
   
It was still dark when I got on the road, and much construction was happening everywhere. I got behind a big rig, and he paced my way. He was my eyes as I stayed behind him. I put in many miles in the morning darkness.
   
At about 6 a.m., I pulled into a McDonald’s and could plug in and get online, so here I am. The sun is still not up enough to drive comfortably so that I will be here for a bit. Comfortable at McDonald’s, who would ever think?
 
I checked my oil in the van this morning; it was topped off and looking good.
My van had been drinking oil, though. It seems alright now.
That made me happy! After all, right now, my van is my life.
   
10/2–At Cindy’s now. We have been juggling friends since the 80s. I have seen Cindy move her juggling to ever higher skill levels. I have coached her on her performance in the past, and it is great to see her implement the ideas I have given her.
   
Cindy has three apple trees with three different types of apples.
I ate a few, and they were quite tasty.
Currently, she is making a delicious Apple Crisp. 
   
We had walked to the farmers market—a mile down and a mile back. Because of my lack of sleep, I had quite a difficult time with it.
   
10/3—Cindy and I drove up to Flagstaff Mountain, where many trails and an amphitheater exists. Then we went to Gross Reservoir. Both of these are near Boulder and are splendid to see.
Here is Flagstaff Mountain >> https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=e10bc32a205dabd2&rlz=1C1VDKB_enUS1128US1129&sxsrf=ADLYWILDs1vcx0qaVJett_xCZi6-kQfK6w:1728059124065&q=flagstaff+mountain&tbm=vid&source=lnms&fbs=AEQNm0Aa4sjWe7Rqy32pFwRj0UkWd8nbOJfsBGGB5IQQO6L3J3ppPdoHI1O-XvbXbpNjYYwWUVH6qTfR1Lpek5F-7GS5CjYSAeMKk98YoRKOczWs8CWw7lN9NlZQhd9LdmaGqzhMDhVc9if9h6eZ-m9bQOvCpcaUs2kavYjfxiUUwLUKKhg4-JlXE9Eup2n5heUmVYair56gpiuIzFbH9Jw8MdSPgzll4Q&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwitnPbxkfWIAxWFHjQIHTsIAoMQ0pQJegQIEhAB&biw=1536&bih=695&dpr=1.25#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:a7f6a291,vid:o8uWyF21rdI,st:0

Here is the reservoir >>
https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=e10bc32a205dabd2&rlz=1C1VDKB_enUS1128US1129&sxsrf=ADLYWIIa6GDDZz8TGF9N2l2AiPXdt9AXLQ:1728059281819&q=gross+reservoir&tbm=vid&source=lnms&fbs=AEQNm0Aa4sjWe7Rqy32pFwRj0UkW1DRbm01j6DCVS0r1sTxn7h_rt6mVhwDmwtd3hPZjM8zl8B526v4C-56SyLN7G5Eaq0rosLzBySnDZwH4KLVIZca_Wsfw5DQmrLKLf-xcVn1kPmZ3M0cKQRZ6aveg5aN6914MNEhTlKdRpRrfWihkjOqg0S5PSfNRTJxdbiR2FcSxqEJj1kE-T8PJMnz8yv3uxjB4vQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjg4JK9kvWIAxX6EzQIHZJWBIYQ0pQJegQIFRAB&biw=1536&bih=695&dpr=1.25#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:6964a680,vid:W4hj5rf4eyc,st:0
   
10/4–Here is Cindy — ENJOY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z15cJBuOtg

DO SOMETHING NEW–DAILY!
THEN, KEEP DOING NEW FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
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THE GARDEN THIS WEEK
A self-supportive life can be a better life.
A garden would be a part of that life.
You must look into it.
   
Because I am back on the road, there will be no more words about the garden. I do hope looBeth keeps it up. I did a lot of work in establishing the vegetable garden.
   
When I drove the van seven years ago, I grew stuff under the sunroof windows on the top. Maybe I will start that up again. You will find out, of course. 

START YOUR GARDEN TODAY!
IT MAY BE NECESSARY FOR YOUR LIFE! 

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ALL OUR LIFE, WE MUST CHALLENGE OURSELVES! 

YOUR CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK >>
Go see an old friend whom you have not seen in some time.
Comfort them in their loneliness.
Hopefully, it will be an older person who needs your company. 

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NEXT BLOG >>
If someone else can do it,
so can you!
You have to find a way! 

AND WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING FOR YOUR UPCOMING WEEK?